2nd Trimester Games

For once I would like to wake up and not find something on my body a different shape or color. In the beginning these nightly changes were frightening, almost tempting me to want to shower and get dressed in the dark to avoid feeling like I was a government experiment gone wrong.

Fortunately over these last few weeks, I've taken a lighter approach to this uncontrolled morphing and turned it into a game. Now I wake up each morning guessing which one of the following options will apply to me:

"Which part will be bigger today?"
"How many shades of pink and purple are there in the color wheel?"
"Why is this one out and the other one in?"
"Should this be here?"
"Where did these come from?"
"WTF!"

In my opinion, the second trimester should really be called "Carnival of Chaos". Granted your energy is back and you feel great, but every day is so much different than the one before. Some days my skin is clear, glowing, and radiant, and the next it will be covered in puberty-like pimples and shot all to hell. The size and shape of my stomach changes throughout the day, from a cute little bump in the middle of my belly, to one that sits too high or too low. Depending on it's location I either look pregnant or just out of shape. On the other hand, I will say the faster growing finger nails and the extra thick, lustrous hair are things I am appreciative of.

To all the women out there who claim to be just "loving" their 2nd trimester, I know that you wake up to the same fun mirror as I do. I'm just honest enough to admit it.

1st Trimester Hell

Many pregnancy books use phrases like, "you may feel" or "it is possible you will" or "some women have reported" to try and cushion the fact that for the first three months, you are going to feel like you are slowly dying. This was frustrating for me because I pride myself in being healthy. I eat really well, I am never sick, I don't do drugs, I don't drink anything but water and tea, I rarely have refined sugar and red meat, blah blah blah, so I assumed I would be the exception. WRONG. The long list of what you can expect in your 1st trimester includes, but is not limited to: Bloating, fatigue, nausea, acne, soreness, breast swelling and soreness, muscle aches, warmer temperatures, moodiness, spotting, cramps, backaches, headaches, frequent urination, darkening of the skin, and a predisposition to catching colds. For me the 3 that kicked my ass was the morning sickness, fatigue, and breast soreness.

The so called "morning sickness" didn't just occur in the morning...it was all day, in waves, some waves crashing harder than others. These bouts of pure puke related bliss always occurred at the most awkward times. For example, while you are in a 2 hour meeting in a room full of men and you are expected to not show in your facial expressions that you feel like you are digesting razor blades.

In addition to the nausea, the constant tiredness was something that literally drove me insane. As someone who requires little sleep, naps were a pastime long forgotten since I was 2 years old. I never understood how grown adults could just sleep away their free time on weekends or during the day. It always seemed like such a waste of time to me. When I wasn't wrestling my stomach pains, I was fighting off the feeling that I had just been slipped a date rape drug. So many afternoons I found myself purposely trying to occupy my time with chores or activities because as soon as I sat down, even if only for a minute, it was lights out. The only benefit to being a narcoleptic was the relief of my nausea while I was passed out.

The last major complaint during the first trimester was the chest boulder soreness. Most women have to deal with breast tenderness at least once a month, so I was hardly immune to this body response. In fact, this was the one symptom I did expect going into my pregnancy, I just didn't think it would have been so drastically magnified. Sleeping on my stomach became impossible, hugs unbearable, jogging and going down stairs was my new hell. Shopping for creative ways to anchor them down became an obsession. I thought of everything just shy of duct tape.

Thankfully the 2nd trimester has been nothing short of magical, a complete 180 degree turn around from the last 3 months. My advice to any newly pregnant woman is to forget about throwing yourselves a pity party. Accept your fate and hopefully your partner will be as sweet, patient, and loving as mine has been during my battles with my body.