Oh yes, this is happening. Enjoy.

Before I proceed to slap your computer monitors in the face with the truth about what it's like to be pregnant, I guess I should start off by putting the facts out there. I am in fact pregnant with my first child. My due date is March 19th, and as I head into the months that will completely hijack my body, I thought it would be therapeutic for myself, and informative to others, to offer some insight into what it is really like to be knocked up.

One of the most frustrating things about being pregnant, is seeing, hearing, and reading the endless posts about "how wonderful and blessed" women's lives are now that they are headed into motherhood, and "what exuberant joy" their lives are filled with, now that they are expecting a child. Let me just go on the record and say that is complete crap. Don't get me wrong, becoming a mother is truly one of the greatest things a woman could ever experience, but in all reality, it is also one of the most frightening and traumatic experiences too. You are basically donating your body to a mini-mad scientist that lives inside you.

My intention with this blog is to bring some humor to the pregnancy pains all women go through. If my posts can influence teenagers from appearing on MTV shows or on Maury Povich, or prevent crazy desperate broads wanting to keep their man by means of a human shackle, than this will all be a success. Fair warning though, future posts will be honest, vivid, and slightly offensive.